Feds to Outlaw Dog-Walkers

There is been a recent rash of auto accidents involving drivers ogling dogs being walked on the side of the road.  In response, the US government has voted into law that people who wish to walk their dogs on public roads must now apply for a license.

"This is an important law because, like texting, these road distractions are causing major accidents on our roadways," said Senator John Kerry (D-Massachusetts).  "In fact," he said, "we're thinking of fining the dogs as well as their owners."

In order to get the license, one must bring his dog to their local police station where an hour-long interview between the Chief of Police and the dog will take place.  If the dog is found to be "flaunting, Narcissistic, or just generally vain, we won't issue the license," says Scott Doberman, Police Commissioner for Boston, MA.

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